I wrote this poem many years ago to describe the nervous breakthrough process, the point being that Nature does not make mistakes – what appears to be a failure is really just the beginning of a process of transformation, of rebirth, new growth.
On the Nervous Breakthrough CDs I describe the everyday waking life of many people as being akin to existing within a psychic prison. We have limited ‘vision’; all we can 'see' are the four walls, floors and ceiling. That is, we have little awareness of ourselves, those we relate to and even of Nature itself. In the main we believe that what we see, hear, feel and think is the truth, that it's real. The end result is untold suffering and a world, massive addiction to anti-depressant medication and the world racing towards self-destruction

I am suggesting that, if it is our destiny to change in a radical way but the egoistical desires are preventing us from doing so, our wise subconscious mind prompts us to blow up our psychic prison, to have a nervous breakdown.

When the Nervous Breakdown arrives, cracks appear in our prison walls and the light of truth shines in from outside. That is, we get attacks of sheer panic, terrifying thoughts or images, and dark depressions whose content points to the truths we are meant to discover. In my own case, to give but three examples,, I was stricken with:
 Frightening macabre flashes of harming my family
 Phobic reactions about being seen in public
 Extreme claustrophobia in buses, theatres, supermarkets, lifts and so on.

The cracks in my psychic prison were allowing in the light of truth about myself, in a distorted fear–filled way. I was being forced to see what I had been denying tomyself for the past 25 years. That is, following the above sequence:
 I was an angry person, not the gentle man I had thought
 My feeling of self-worth was almost totally dependent upon the opinions of others
 I was an arrogant, manipulative, controlling person

Like Humpty Dumpty who fell off the wall we can never put ourselves back together again, or at least not as we were before the calamity struck us down. Each one of our disturbing symptoms is, I believe, exquisitely designed to prompt and guide us to an awakening, a new growth, to be more truly ourselves. If we refuse or don’t know how to search and then change, or we get seduced into relying too much on medication, the disturbing symptoms remain, the light continuing to pour in through the cracks in the walls of our psychic prison.

In my own case, illustrating again with the symptoms described above, I felt compelled to undergo a radical change in each one of the three areas. That is:
 I identified the hidden anger within myself and learned how to defuse it, and eventually transmute this destructive force into something higher and more loving.
 I discovered how to give recognition to my inner source of love and creativity, allowing it to be expressed, independent of how others might be regarding me.
 I realised that everything in creation was being powered by and behaving according to a higher law and plan, and that I could choose to align myself with the current of this grace. That is, I was not the ‘doer’, but everything was being done through me.

These three are but a few of the significant changes that were set in motion by my own nervous breakthrough. There are many more which I will not go into here. Suffice to say that life has so much more meaning, depth, love and joy in it now than before my breakdown. I rank it as being among one of the greatest gifts ever given to me in this life. Painful and terrifying as it was, for years on end, it was a true blessing in disguise, a breakthrough into a totally different way of thinking, feeling and behaving.